Let's Get Physical

Updated: Feb 7

Jane Fonda is 82 now and gives me the pips! She has announced that she has finally given up plastic surgery - good for her! - and that she has had three hip replacements.

I have only had one so far and the year before that ordeal was excruciatingly painful. I hung in there, hobbling around whilst waiting for the surgeon’s knife, and I stopped getting physical with Jane.

Religiously for years, since the 1970s, every morning I would insert the worn-out cassette into the ghetto blaster and clear the floor of dangerous obstacles - all set to swing, jump, protrude the buttocks and toss the body flab to the four winds.

A one and a two, and a three and a four - feel the beat! Harder and harder and again and again! And one more time!

I puffed and creaked and moaned and stretched. Eventually, it became easier, and I could follow Jane’s voice blindfolded and progress to the B side - the Advanced class where the speed quickened and the arc of swing widened - and quite frankly Jane wore me out.

However, anytime I saw her on television - I thought: I too will look like that at her age; toned, unlined, sprightly and looking sickeningly 20 years younger.

But sadly, I didn’t have her resources to keep up, and lethargy crept in. I became more interested in her political activism than in her taut butt in leotards.

I have found a new guru in Mother Nature - letting her take her course gently and succumbing to the inevitable.

And when I think of Jane, I swing my remaining natural hip around and around in a bigger circle than the metal one, and I feel good about myself.

Go Jane - Get Physical. Gerdette Rooney